Is it Worth it?
by Demeanon
Summary: Zuko lies awake in his bed, thinking. Is it all worth it? Oneshot. Contains hints of Zutara as friends.


**_Is it Worth it?_**

I can't sleep. I can't even close my eyes. Why do I have to feel guilty about this? Why? I mean, it's worth it in the end right?

I looked around the sparsely decorated room, wondering what it was like for uncle. For them. For everyone who was suffering in this war and those whom I had met. I knew my sister wasn't bothered by all this. After all, she always does what's politically correct while her brother does what is morally correct. Why is that?

Uncle must be horribly disappointed with me. Has Azula decided his punishment yet? Oh, dear Agni, please let it not be an execution. I wouldn't be able to bear the sight of Uncle Iroh dying while I live on. I was the one who betrayed him anyway.

Not only did I betray him. I betrayed that water-bending girl… What was her name? Katsumi? Kaname? Katara? Yes, that's it. Katara. It's not particularly interesting, but it fits her. Or, at least it fits the more caring side I had a chance to see.

Does anyone realize how hard it was for me to decide between them and a chance to redeem myself with my father? He always has hated me, but maybe this will show him that I am and always have been his loyal and loving son. It was either live a hard life and possibly die, but experience life to it's fullest… or go back home where life is easy and there are no real worries. I choose the selfish choice. The one where I get to return home after three years and everyone else in the world suffers.

Is it really worth all this trouble? Why can't anyone see how much these humans, these people who are exactly like us but look different, are suffering? I know some people can. However, they are always executed for crimes against the Fire Lord.

I summoned a small flame and watched it dance over my hand. My eyes slowly drifted shut, and I dreamt.

* * *

_The world is burning. No one lives. There is no power, no hope, nothing worth living for. Why did you do that Zuko? Why?_

_I spun around, the world burning around me. What was happening? Is this what was going to happen. Suddenly, a figure rose from the flames._

'_You betrayed people who wanted to help Zuko.' It was Avatar Roku, and he seemed sad._

'_I had no choice! Azula would have killed me!'_

'_There is always another choice Zuko. You chose the one that led to ultimate destruction. Look, there lies your mother and uncle. All the people you care for are dead.' Sure enough, they were slowly burning into ashes. My mouth opened in horror at the sight of my mother's face melting off, leaving a charred skull._

'_No! This can't be happening!' I tried to run, but my feet had sunk into the melted ground. Oh GODS how it hurt!_

'_You made the wrong decision. Now die.' Avatar Roku suddenly became Zhao, who smirked evilly as he set me on fire…_

_

* * *

_

I jolted awake. Could this be a sign? Oh, why did I make this decision?

The water tribe girl, Katara, had been in my dream, along with her friends. Could it be that I somehow felt attached to them? I thought about it. Without them, what would there be to make life exciting? I would surely die of boredom after such a long time of fighting…

Her eyes as we last fought, they were terrible. The rage there was unbearable. Had I really hurt her so much? Why does it matter? She is just going to be another face in the crowds when the Fire Nation takes over the rest of the world. And then, she will pay…

But did I really want that? She had offered to heal my scar, and I betrayed her. But, it was for the good of my country, right?

Is it all worth it in the end?

* * *

A/N: Uh... it end kinda suddenly, doesn't it? Well, it was just randomly written. It is what I think Zuko is thinking. He is an interesting character who gets no justice in these fanfictions. In all the fanfictions I read, he is mostly either a selfish asshole or a pervert. Or both. But in some he is in character. I tried to stay in character. Please review and tell me how I did.


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